I may be starting this re-re-blogger post a tad early. Don't get too excited yet; I have still yet to graduate. Somehow, the irony of revamping a blog from high school and naming it "Life After Graduation" before I actually graduated was never apparent to me one year ago. As I, um, type I suppose, I have still not graduated. Dear, foolish Barson, why why WHY are you doing this to yourself then? You might be wondering, If the anxieties and real problems faced by those who are actively attempting to find gainful employment in this economic climate are still unbeknowest [still fairly certain I made that word up last summer, BTW] to you, why the charade? Do stop now. Jolly good point, my imaginary reader [I'm not sure if an imaginary reader to boost my ego is any different than an imaginary friend. At age 23.]!
However, as I am OFFICIALLY done with graduate school on Wednesday, and can have merriment the likes Oakland has never seen before, I would enjoy restarting my blog. Writing was always a passion of mine, and even though I find shockingly little to write about in my daily life, I shall bore, if no one else, my sister, Carinne.
In five days time, my blog title will no longer be misleading. I will be done with upper education indefinitely. I cannot see myself going to get my PhD; the grueling master's program I endured was challenging enough. I have high hopes for my newly rejuvenated blog. I am nearly officially an adult. It is now my responsibility to care for myself, and find full employment. As terrifying as it is, I also must finally confront the monster of student loans which had formerly lurked in the shadows, biding its time until the dreaded graduation date kicks in. This blog will be about my challenges, victories, and all-around attempt to regain the enthusiasm and excitement that I had throughout last summer.
The master's program I went through was so much more challenging than I ever thought possible. This year-long program was by far the most difficult academic year I ever had. I went into the program anticipating having a wonderful year. Although at orientation professors warned the bright-faced newcomers how difficult it was, secretly I believed that my Senior year at WVU was so challenging that this year would not compare. Oh how naive I was. How innocent. How blatantly wrong. This past year was a constant struggle to complete classwork, other academic work, and work to somehow support myself through all of this. 90% of my time was used up academically. 5% was sleeping. The final 5% was split crying, yelling, and being all-around miserable to the people I love most, my family, close friends, and Boyfriend. God bless them all, they all supported me through everything.
As I finally burst through that 368 (I started graduate school the day after Father's Day last year, and finish three days later this year) day long tunnel, I am very changed. I was never a very spontaneous person, but what little spontaneity I had is long gone. I am very goal-oriented, and am constantly making lists of things I must complete in order to relax (and rarely finish these lists). I am very cranky and sleep-deprived. I rarely have time to just enjoy life because there is always something I should be doing and can never let that go. Frighteningly, as I look back on everything I have done this year, I am not sure how often I was myself in many situations. Being put into a situation that challenges you every minute and that you have an incredible amount of responsibilities and obligations to fulfill every 30 seconds can change a person. I'm sad to say that I spent a lot of this year yelling and being angry.
I read my old blog posts of last summer, and find myself looking at a different person. I hope with all of the stress of this year lifted off my shoulders, I can go back to that carefree woman [I started to type girl, but as I am nearly 24, I don't think that's true anymore. When did that happen?]. While this year has nearly turned me into a work-oriented, exceptionally driven robot, great things did come out of this year. I know more about myself than I did last year. I certainly learned more, academically speaking, in this one year than I did in any other year of my life, but I learned a lot of life stuff too. I learned a lot about the world, how it works, and how I feel about a lot of these things. Having so little free time last year will hopefully let me appreciate my free time now and allow me to be more carefree and happy. We'll see.
In the end, this blog will be an official description of my journey [holy corny, Batman!] from pimply, angsty teenager, to party hopping, responsibility avoiding college student, to stressed-out, workaholic graduate student, to maybe, just maybe, well-rounded adult? God only knows.
I guess this might just be growing up. Braang it.
1 comment:
yay barson!!!! and... welcome back.
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